Let It Go

So this song started when I was 16. No shit. I have always been this bizarrely kind-hearted person: if someone hurts me, I don't destroy them back. I could. I could utterly destroy someone emotionally and I choose not to. But somehow I find people who become a friend, then something ridiculous happens and I end up in some sort of argument and I find out that they have no idea what kind of character I have. They have no idea what kindness I'm capable of.

This summer I lost some friends who abused my kindness. It ended horribly. They literally read their own meanings into everything I said, and the only way to make them stop was to cut it all off and walk away. I then had to start the process of tying the loose ends of my heart. I tried magic, I tried meditation, positive chants (my "chant some lies"), but it just reminded me of other times I've been hurt. The only thing that heals is Time.

One of my friends is going through a breakup because of betrayal. I thought the words might speak to her too. She's trying to move on, but losing a relationship is more maddening than losing a friend. She's trying to do all the 'right things,' but at the end of the day, she still has a broken heart. The only thing that heals is Time.

Let it go (Click to play)

close the door; turn the key

hide my face so you can’t see

always knew, but now it’s true

I could wipe my eyes away

living words play again

something I have never been

your words and sick, and I despise them

but words are all they are

Let it go, but it stays

and it hurts you anyways

trapped inside my own mind,

like I can’t leave the past behind

I cast a spell, I cut the ties

I burn some fires and I chant some lies

doesn’t matter what I try,

the only thing that heals is time.

I’ve heard it said, “What goes around

will be worse when it comes around”

but you take revenge, hit when we’re down

you drove my face into the ground

but how can I say a thing

to hurt you back for what you did?

I’m devastated, that all these years

you never knew me.

Let it go, but it stays

and it hurts you anyways

trapped inside my own mind,

like I can’t leave the past behind

I cast a spell, I cut the ties

I burn some fires and I chant some lines

doesn’t matter what I try,

the only thing that heals is time.

the only thing that heals is time.